Gentlemen,
Sometimes we must all look in the mirror and give an honest assesment of ourselves. I have done this many times in my life and sure you guys have as well. This week was one of those look in the mirror lessons. Life is still kicking the crap out of me in many directions... work, kids, wife out of town, dog, parents health, and my very own health. As I stretched out my long run this week to 14 miles, I have experienced some major pain in both knees.... Ive have meniscus repair in both and have pretty much run the remaining ligaments and tendons down to almost nothing. Basically bone on bone.... anything past 10 to 12 miles is real stressful and uncomfortable to me. I thought I could get back to where I once was with endurance running... Maybe thats not possible.... physically.... Mentally, heart, and lungs are there.... knees are not. With this said I have deceided to withdrawl my name from the ING NYC Marathon lottery pick and am looking into trying to get out of the 26.2 distance for the KY Derby and just run the 13.1 mini marathon. When all this started some years ago when Karl and Mark did the Muddy Buddy, I was running away from a failing marraige.... I used running, biking, (and attempted swimming) as a way to deal with the stresses of a divorce and a failure in my life... I was a good ride.... have really enjoyed it and have accoplished some great and wonderful things through endurance sports... But, I think all good things shall come to an end.... Im not ruling out the healthy lifestyle that we have all chosen, just ruling out pushing myself beyond what Im capable. I will continue to exercise, run, bike, and even attempt to swim a bit... will continue working the core, lift some weights and eat a healthy diet... will continue running the Papa Johns 10 miler and the KY derby Mini.... these races as well as the rock n roll minis across the US are special and very fun to me... there are a few 5ks that are still fun for me.... and im still interested in Grabaky 2011. Really would like commitment from all our group to do this one. May be my last endurance journey for awhile. May be my farewell to the crazy distance feats. Ive struggled with these self realizations but have made peace with them. Really need one last group event that we could all do... Im very thankful for the journey weve all been on and would like to continue moderately and have fun. I rode my bike today for a leisure 10 miles... more or less sight seeing the neighborhood and did a 4 mile slow jog... felt so good just to do it for the health and have fun... no aches, no pains, just a good endorphin rush. Kinda practicing that now... need to have fun and have no worries of missing a workout or how fast or how far I go.... just go!
Also currently dealing with lots of life difficulties.... My 13 year old son found my 17 year olds stash of pot and deceided to take it and sell it at school for some extra cash.... Not a good idea... got busted, expelled, and will have to attend alternative school for 18 weeks... crazy... 7th grade and doing that stuff. Both my 19 and 17 year olds are using causually, smoking cigs, overweight, and dont give a damn about anything.... Crazy! dont know where to turn with these kids... im giving a little tough love right now, just damn hard to watch it. working my ass off, melanie is in travel mode from chicago, alaska, and north carolina.... im sitting in a big ole house with a cripple dog worrying myself sick... parents health is bad and i have bad knees and a sore back.... stress and worry????
I guess bottom line is like this.... will continue the healthy lifestyle.... I really have no choice right now (too much stress)... just count me out on the consistant blogging and reaching any new heights.... Im just holdin on to anything positive at all.... trying to shake my crazy ass seasonal depressed, bi-polar self out... still givin it hell to the end... good luck to each and every one and think about that grabaky 2011.... give me something to look forward to this fall....
dino
3 comments:
Dino,
There is just so much going on in your life, and despite how it grinds a way you seem to have found away to put everything in perspective. I read all these posts because I love being reminded of all our struggles. But most importantly how we have seized this opprotunity to change our health.
Scaling back your goals and finding more purpose and passion for the things you love to do is compeletly acceptable. Part of this new fitness lifestyle is re-discovering the things that give us joy. I would rather ride 20 miles, be competitive and have fun doing it, then ride 50 and be miserable hurting and in pain.
Your post contributed significantly to keeping me on task and I appreciate you opening up and sharing. For the record, unless some major event occurs, I will be doing GABRAKY with you. It will be a blast and you will love it. Now we just have to get the rest of the boys on board.
Keep fighting the good fight.
L3-Live, Learn, and Lead
Schmidty
thanks for the comments... i'll get it turned around someday... hope we all make the grabaky this year.... im in... have already put my vacation days in around this event :)
Dino, proud of you brother. It takes a big man to face reality and make the right decisions for himself. As I told my wife the other day, "If I'm not in it, I ain't doing it." In other words, if my mind and heart are not in it, I'm not doing it just because others think I should or because it will make me look good or cool. It's not selfish to when you do it for the right reasons.
You'll see from my post today that I, too, had to make a tough decision on an upcoming endurance event.
Life puts us through stages and you're going through a "full" stage right now. You have a lot to take care of and it's more important than ever that you take care of yourself...especially mentally. Several of us in this group know depression all to well (personally and/or through family). You need to find what works for you. Like you said, you'll get it turned around. It will be another life stage.
Keep on keeping on! Know your brothers are here for you always.
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